I've not written for awhile, I've just been sorta rocked by some things that are happening. I really feel like I'm losing my grip on life, or at least what I've called "life" these past few years. I'm not the man I tried to convince myself that I was. My faith is much weaker than I thought possible. I've traded parts of me away in a horrible bargain of avoidance.24Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. 26What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul? Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul?
Matt 16:24-26
Pain, loneliness, unsatisfied, hungry, empty...is this what I'm trying to hold on to? I'm scared what the future will bring, why do I distrust so much?
A friend said to me "Romanticise Purity"(sp). I've obviously idolized the opposite. I need to trade in my life for one that God designed, one that works.
Lord, help me lose my grip.
