Characteristics of the sensitive soul:

• They are very emotionally sensitive and are deeply moved by the emotions of others around them.
• They are inherently drawn toward beauty, structure, order, symmetry, intimate relating, color, texture, expression of feelings, and the natural and spiritual worlds around them.
• They have a tendency to believe they are somehow connected to everything around them and often feel they effect or can impact their world both in subtle and grand ways.
• They sometimes are viewed as self-absorbed and even egocentric or selfish by others.
• They are intuitive feelers and deep thinkers.
• They often contemplate things deeply and for days and can be strongly moved by
• subtleties that others would not recognize.
• They see detail and notice nuance more than others.
• They are moved with strong emotions of passion, desire, pain, hurt, and love.
• They often are highly sensitive to feelings in general and can sometimes be overwhelmed by highly stimulating situations where the stimuli are coming from multiple sources at the same time.
• They are often loners and enjoy spending large amounts of time alone.
• They often escape to alternative realities they create or ones that have been created through video games, movies, or reading books.
• They are highly creative and desire an outlet to express their creativity

excerpted from LivingHope.org "Parenting the Sensitive Soul"

On regrets, and Ap. Paul

I deal (poorly, most times) with regret for how my attitudes and addiction has affected (or potentially affected) the people around me and ministries I've been in. One thought that God dropped in my lap in the middle of a counseling session this past Friday was about the Apostle Paul...he hunted and killed Christians for a living! That was his mission in life. How much regret did he have to deal with once Christ revealed Himself to Saul on the road to Damascus? How did he not think every time he met a new Christian, "Did I kill your father, mother, brother, or friend? How can I look you in the eye and say 'follow me - as I follow Christ'? I(Paul) cannot undo the damage done by my sin and rebellion." Yet God choose him, anyway. What did they talk about in the desert? I can only surmise that Paul's confidence in the completeness of forgiveness, the sovereignty of God, and power of grace understood allowed him to move forward in obedience to preach the Gospel despite his past.

I need to dig into this issue more....or is it that I just need to accept this as true and move forward in that knowledge? Hmmm

Headed to Exodus Freedom Conference 2010

Yah, it's been crazy here, alot of which is my own fault. I leave Tuesday to goto the Freedom Conference! I'm excited, nervous, and hopeful. It's really crazy how this process works, the times when it seems the least is happening or I feel less engaged...God is setting the stage for something to happen or be shown to me.

Thru various means God has been showing me how my view of "recovery" and of "healing" is skewed. Deep inside I want a recovery and healing that 'fixes' it completely. No residue, no regrets from the past, no more mess...but that essentially means I want God to erase the memory of what has happened. And that erases the record of His mercy, grace, love, forgiveness, strength, patience, and ability to take what man intends for evil and use it to His glory.