I need to work on my personal time with God, it's almost like having a rich benefactor...I am willing to go and ask for help (I'm desperate) but I feel too ashamed to stay for dinner. He is willing to help me with the immediate needs but He laid out a place for me at the table, He wants to talk, there is a room upstairs prepared for me, I can stay. But I feel too ashamed, it's too nice, I feel too dirty in His presense to stay very long. So I leave and trudge along the cold lane, while He stands at the door and watches me, knowing He could help, knowing He has so much more to offer, and knowing He will not force me to stay.
When will I realize that I was born for this house? When will I learn that it's where I belong, not because of what I bring, but because I'm related to Him.
So I need to get back to that point were I'm comfortable just being in His presence, not ashamed, just understanding that He desires to do more than just meet my needs...He desires to be in relationship with me. Salvation is only the start of the relationship, grace makes the relationship possible, but if salvation and grace are the only two elements...then I'm really missing the best parts.
