No disrespect to those of actual Indian heritage, but the Indian tradition of giving names based on character traits has no parrallel in middle-american society.
I was at a group counseling session last week, again sharing my minimal amount of sober days with the group. Lamenting on how I don't seem to do better. The counselor chimed in and decided to tell me what my "indian name" is....Struggling Failure. Struggling Failure? The more he explained the more it seemed to fit. It is like I'm there saying, " Well, I tried, but this thing got in my way....and I wanted to do better, but I feel really bad....so remorse is good, right? I'm sorry I didn't live up to the standard, but aren't I lovable in my mess?"
Yes, the program does say, "Easy does it", but I've made a career out of being 'easy' on myself. So somewhere in true intimacy, the tolerance for continual failure is reached and someone begins to call you out on it.
Struggling Failure, not the name I woudl have chosen for myself, not a name to be proud of. So what does that mean? It means, I need a new name!!!! How do I get it, exactly the same way I got this one, by earning it.
