Run Away!!!!!

So some days, the last thing I want is to meet the resurrected, glorious Christ. He just exposes too many flaws. Christianity Today "Christ is Risen- Run Away"

This pretty much sums up what I feel like lately. We are supposed to "approach the throne of grace with confidence" but my life seems to ooze anything but confidence in the presence or the potential presence of Jesus. I'm the non-compliant patient, the one with the infected sore. I fail to follow the Dr's orders - which would allow me to live a normal life and keep the infection in check, but again and again I become inflamed with 'stuff' trapped beneath the surface. Maybe its where I've been (not the cleanest of places) , maybe its lack of care - but it's gotten out of control again. I need to see the Healer...but I don't. I don't call, I don't go, I know I should...but I don't.

# days sober = 2

Am I a Practical Atheist?

I'll let you read the whole article for yourself (the link is below) but I will quote the part that tore me up and made me sit back and ask, "Is this me?". Unfortunately, the answer is "Yes, yes, and yes"

Speaking of being fair, let's. I wonder if our fascination with atheism is well-focused. If Lent, the season we are currently slogging through, reminds us of anything, it reminds us that Christians are often practicing atheists. As I said, philosophical atheists cannot hate God. Christians, on the other hand, know God exists and therefore can and do hate him. One thing you do with persons you hate is pretend like they don't exist.

We dutifully say our prayers in the morning, but then go about the day hardly giving God a thought, making decisions and engaging the day as if we had left him at home. At the end of a whirlwind day, we fall exhausted into bed, and, if we are particularly devout, we offer up another prayer. But the picture at the center of this prayer-framed life is often blank.

Take simple moral choices. Jesus tells us not to lust. But that doesn't stop the occasional peek at porn. We are told to speak the truth in love, and yet we tell so many white lies, we need an Excel sheet to keep track. We know we should turn the other cheek, but we delight in imagining rituals of revenge.

There are unconscious sins — the thoughtless word or angry gesture that comes out of nowhere. But then there are the deliberate sins: we have a moment to ponder our duty, which lies clearly before us. No question what God is calling us to do. And we do the opposite.

If this isn't a form of atheism, even of hating God, I don't know what is. No wonder Jesus uses stark language to describe faith: We either hate Jesus (John 15:23-24) or we hate ourselves (John 12:25). That's what it comes down to. And we often know who "our first hate" is.

ChristianityToday "Where to Find the Real Atheists"

The God that invited us to "do life" with Him, knows all about my tendency to live as if He doesn't exist in whatever situation I'm in...and He's forgiven me for that already.

That is the message of hope for me this Easter.