Disintegration

Really hit a rough patch this week. So my struggle isn't my only issue and I have found that when I am having a rough time in other areas of life the pornography and acting out is worse. So looking at my life honestly I have to admit that I am a wreck. Personally, spiritually, and financially. My lack of discipline in all of these areas is the chaos that feeds/justifies my addiction and contributes to the feelings of hopelessness. But I am not hopeless, nor am I helpless, I am also not alone. My choices are what got me here. Every dirty dish, I own. I made that...and when I decided it was easier to toss it in the sink instead of deal with it...that small mess grows.I have a good job, I just spend more than I make...apparently. I am always tired when i get home because I dont' exercise enough. But finding the energy to exercise when you come home to the same chaos everyday....it's not easy. All of us here face similar struggles I am sure. Mine are not the worst. I just have to work on it. one dish, one bill, one load of laundry at a time. I can't recover in only one area of my life....I have to recover my life in whole. God came to make us whole, to integrate what was dis-integrated.