Bringing the dead to life again

So I recently was diagnosed with major blockages in my coronary arteries.  I was essentially a dead man walking.  I had a condition that was going to kill me....and I was clueless.  I happily (well sometimes) went thru life blissfully unaware.

But slowly the condition came to limit what I could do.  So I just did less.  I accepted that.  I "intended" to do better, to get in shape, and believed I had time to do so before anything serious happened.

Thankfully I was made aware of my condition before it ended my life.  I went in last Thursday for a cardiac stent procedure to relieve the blockages in my heart.  I no longer have a bad heart, it has been fixed.

Much like Salvation.  As a sinner I went thru life thinking I was fine, blissfully unaware that I had a condition that would inevitably kill me.  But Jesus came and offered to fix my heart.  That should be it, I am fixed, healed, alive, life is easy now.

Hold the phone.

Life for me today (less than a week after the procedure) feels harder.  I struggle with intense anxiety, phantom pains, and a compendium of associated symptoms.  But see thats the rub, it "feels" harder.  In reality, my heart is fixed, it has more flow, it is not trying to kill me...but my mind has yet to grasp the amazingness of my rescue!

I fear, I worry.  I cling to things that will not preserve my life.  How much of a mirror to my spiritual walk!  My heart has been fixed, my life has been saved, I am a child of God...yet I live, oftentimes, as one who is still dying.

So my prayer today is to live in the reality of my salvation, not in the shadow of my old condition!