Monday, February 18, 2008

A Waste of Suffering

I just listened to a message from Mark Driscoll (Mars Hill - Seattle) on Suffering. He underscored that all suffereing is allowed by God (or else it wouldn't happen), not all suffering is caused by sin, and that suffering should not be "wasted".

Wasted???? As in not taken advantage of, as in thrown away without reaping the benefits, as in suffering might be a good thing???? Is he nuts? Well maybe, but I understood his point. The worth/benefit of the situation I find myself in, (whether as a result of my rebellious choices, or an external, uncontrollable set of circumstances) is completely determined by my response to it.

He stated that in suffering we can be drawn closer to God, that it is analogous to a nail. The harder you hit a nail, the deeper it is driven. We are called to be like nails, we do not enjoy the impact of the hammer, but we can be thankful that the hammer is driving us deeper. This is the "joy" response....not joy as in "happy, happy, joy, joy" but the kind of joy that says, "This hurts, but I am glad that God has not forsaken me. This is tough, but I am thankful that God is taking care of me even in the midst of it".

For me, I struggle with the "joy" response. How can I be happy that I made so many wrong choices that have now resulted in my being an addict? How can I even begin to say that I "suffer" as a christian....I am not Paul persecuted for preaching the gospel, I am not a martyr being tortured for not renouncing their faith in Christ...no my suffering is due to my own sinful willfulness run amock.

So how do I live so as to not "waste" my suffering? Do I let the hammer blows of life drive me deeper in? Or do I bend like a nail that refuses to be driven, now useless until it is pried up and straightened, only to be driven again. Cute pictures, but how do I live this in the real world? How do I remind myself 'in the moment' that this is an important choice to my sobriety, and whether or not I'm "wasting" my suffering?

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