Evaluations

Specifically my yearly eval at work. I survived another one. But it kinda brings up the point of evaluating my life in light of the job I'm supposed to be doing. That is developing a deeper relationship with God, serving Him with all my mind, heart, and might. How would I rate myself on that level...a 1 (scale 1 to 5, 5 being the highest)

I am not really sure I even deserve a 1, but its as low as the scale goes. There are so many things that need improvement. I am so consumed with this issue of lust, either I am consumed with acting on it, or I am consumed with trying to fix it. But either way, it's almost all I think about, judge my worth by, and check my progress against. And since I haven't made any real progress in 10 years, I guess we have to assume that I'm not doing well in that area.

So if I had gotten a 1 on my employee review today, there would have been specific items and actions that I would need to have corrected in a 30 or 60 day time-period, or I would face dismissal. Thankfully, God is not in the business of dimissing Christians from the Kingdom for "non-performance". But does that mean that He doesn't have specific actions and items for me to correct or work on in the next 30 to 60 days? Definitely not, I think He has exact plans for me, I just need to seek them out. A website was brought to my attention on Thursday night, they have 60 day, web-based programs that are designed for the one caught in the midst of sexual struggles. A crash-course, as it were, in rebuilding a relationship with God and restoring a right perspective on your world. I think that might be a good idea, I think it would be good for me to try it and see.