Well, all in all, I would have to say this hasn't been a bad week as it relates to the struggle with lust. I think the last time I looked at porn was Saturday, and as far as I'm concerned, that is the biggest issue right now. I'm concerned about all of it....but the murderer who thinks abotu killing people should be happy to count a week where no one died! Now can that same murder expect to be able to fantasize about killing people for hours on end adn not beleive that it will result in a real action sooner or later? No, he can't.
So even tho it was a mildly successfull week...I'm still no closer to home. It wasn't successful becuase I laid all my cares at the foot of the cross. It wasn't successful because I commited myself to prayer. It wasn't even because I had such a great time of worship at church (or anywhere else for that matter). I don't know why this week was better, except to say that God loves his children, even the wayward ones and it is by His grace and patience alone that my week was not a complete train-wreck.
Now comes the tough part, it seems like after I goto the Pure Life bible study, or just the fact that it is the "weekend" I really seem to give in pretty easily, almost like I think I deserve it...I was good ALLLL week. Not a valid excuse, but I am just stating what seems to be happening.
So tonight is Pure Life and tomorrow , idk...but I think I'll see what some friends might be up to.
Hang in there brother!! To celebrate the victories (no matter what size) more than to sulk in the defeats is to continue to free self more and more each day!! Remeber. Remember what it was like to do what you loved in being in that fellowship!!
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