My struggle right now is, I seem to have little or no motivation to actually follow after what is right. Well intentioned people suggest that you "surrender" to God....and I understand the concept but the actual act of surrender, that is so much harder. It is harder because when you "give in" to lust you are giving in to a pressure that feels like the force of a million gallons of water against the dam, but to "surrender" to God is not like just letting the dam break, it is more of an active choice. You have to actually say "no" to the lust first and then you additionally have to say "yes" to God. And to find Him you have to search, pray, read, study - all those things are active....giving in to lust only requires that you not move towards those active things and eventually you will give in.
So I guess there is my answer, if I am not actively seeking out the things of God thru study, prayer, and fellowship...then I ultimately a sitting duck directly in the line of fire.
Except I just feel like I don't even have the strength to flap my wings, even a little...
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