Sobriety

Sobriety. Drunks get sober, drug users get "clean", and struggling christians? What do we get? Hopefully...victorious. But until then, I need to be practice sobriety. It sounds weird but basically lust is like a drug for me, I use it in all the same ways that drunks use alcohol. So in order to stop using, I need to measure my sobriety. Do I really wanna walk around with a number on my chest (my scarlet number) for how many days I have been sober? The alternative is no better, don't count the sins, don't count the days...grace is cheap...we are all winners here...God loves you.

Oh I don't doubt that God loves me...in fact He loves me too much to leave me in the condition that He finds me in. In church Sunday, I basically ignored the sermon and I just read most of 1st and 2nd Peter. I wrote down alot of the verses...I know they were already in my Bible, I need to write so that I slow down enough to actually READ the verse. There are several in there that I need to start memorizing. But here is one that really stood out to me.

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through
our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through
these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through
them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in
the world caused by evil desires.
2 Peter 1:3-4 (New International Version)

I have had some great conversations this weekend, I am really thankful for my friends and christian brothers who demonstrate their love for Christ in how they treat others. So its not a milestone, not yet anyway, but I am 3 days sober. By the grace of God tomorrow will be one more. But there are so many times when I just don't wanna stay sober, apparently I still think I can dabble in this area and the cost isn't too high. What will it take? What more do I need to lose, how many lonely nights do I need to spend on it before I realize it worthless?